Back when you were a child, (for a lot of us
this would be WAY back!) chances are that you did a lot of pretending
or, as some were used to calling it, "play-like". A cowboy hat and a
cap pistol in a holster on your side and you were instantly transformed
into Roy Rogers, Hopalong Cassidy, Gene Autry or any one of a number of
the then popular Saturday morning cowboy 'good guys'. A discarded broom
or mop with a short piece of rope tied to the top of the handle became
your trusty steed and your skills as an equestrian were second to none.
Or maybe you were a super hero. A short piece of red cloth or a towel
made a real good cape as Superman or Batman took on the forces of evil
in the never ending fight for truth, justice, and the American way.
A cardboard flapper attached to the fender bracket of your bicycle so
that it would strike each spoke as the wheel turned and you would be
riding the biggest, meanest motorcycle ever made.
Armed with your trusty Daisy B-B gun you were a stealthy and skillful
hunter who could shoot a mosquito off of a plate of grits at a hundred
yards on a foggy night.
Little girls often became princesses simply by putting on some of mom's
lipstick and parading around the house in one of her old discarded
dresses and a few pieces of costume jewelry. Or maybe they became
"mothers" themselves as they tended to the 'babies' they had been given
for Christmas or their birthday.
The point I'm trying to make here is that when you're a child your
imagination is boundless and you could be or do anything you wanted to.
In a nutshell you had the ability and imagination to escape reality
when you "became" someone else. Remember that how that felt? Oh, it
wasn't really mandatory that you looked exactly like whoever it was
that you were trying to imitate or relate to because in your mind's eye
you saw yourself as looking exactly the way you wanted to for each
person or character you were thinking of at the time you were
impersonating them.
And then something happened that changed all of that. You grew from a
small child to an adolescent, then to a young adult, and eventually to
a mature adult. Those carefree days when a good imagination could
transform you into whatever your heart desired had gradually faded from
view over the distant horizon until they disappeared and were gone
seemingly forever.
Part of the lore of crossdressing is the availability of the
necessities required to become, if only for a short period of time,
that imaginary character we see in our minds. Those of us who are CDs
have, to a certain extent, managed to somewhat recapture those days of
old. As CDs we are fully aware that we are NOT the women we pretend to
be. We are also well aware that we may not look as we actually envision
ourselves in our imaginations. Certainly there are those in our midst
who have all the facial and figure features to fool just about anyone,
but these are the exception - not the rule.
In those childhood days the 'escape from reality' was merely a journey
into an imaginary world where we could maintain control of everything
around us. Actual reality consisted of very little in the way of
important responsibilities. In an adult world the realities are that we
have a job where we MUST work every day, there are real bills to pay, a
house or apartment to maintain, real doctor bills, real pain and
suffering, and there are real stresses. These stresses, we have been
told, are one of the major causes of serious conditions such as heart
attacks, high blood pressure, and mental anxieties.
Most crossdressers will readily tell you that one of the major reasons
they enjoy and look so forward to dressing is NOT that it is an prelude
to sexual activity or gratification, but rather that it is the greatest
method they have ever found to relieve the stresses of everyday life.
Many report that they can almost physically feel these stresses
starting to drain from them as they begin the act of dressing up. Note
that this is entirely without the aid of any drugs or alcoholic
beverages.
On the other hand, there are those who are closeted due to either their
own inhibitions or, as is usually the case, a non-supportive or
non-tolerant spouse. These are the people who you will probably
eventually read about in the paper in the obituary column who died
plainly because of the bottled up stress in their lives for which there
was no outlet, or something else which is stress related, a worst case
scenario being that of suicide.
If you are a crossdresser and you are reading this, no matter which
"side of the fence" you are on at the present, you know what I'm
talking about.
On the other hand, if you are a supportive spouse, consider this
message as being from your husband as a heart felt "Thank You" for your
cooperation, understanding and most importantly your love.
And finally, if you are the wife of a crossdresser and you just can't
seem to come to grips with the fact that your husband has confided his
greatest secret in you by telling you that he is a CD, stop and think
about this for a moment. Who is he harming or threatening by wearing
the clothes and accessories of a woman occasionally? Certainly not you
because he loved you enough to expose his vulnerable side to you by
telling you about this. Keep this in mind - this outward
'transformation' is just that - outward. He's still the same person
he's always been. You may argue, "But I married a MAN." My answer to
you is this: Yes, you DID marry a man. And whether you realize it or
not you probably have more of a man than many others will ever be
simply because he IS a crossdresser. He understands things from YOUR
point of view that your 'garden variety' man will never understand.
He's definitely not a coward - have you considered what it took for him
to muster up the nerve to tell you about his 'altar-ego'? You can bet
that there are hundreds more out there who wish they had the guts to do
what he did. The choice is yours. You want a lasting love and a
marriage that is far and above that of the average couple? Want to see
your man grow closer to you than he's ever been before? Want to see his
stresses melt away without drugs or alcohol? It's as simple as simply
saying to him, "Honey, I understand and everything's going to be
alright." No one ever said that adjusting to crossdressing was a piece
of cake. There's give and take on BOTH sides. But for those who look
for it and find it, there are rewards beyond what you would ever
imagine.
One last note and then I'll get down off of my soap box. I've heard a
lot of women say that they could compete with another woman, but this
is something that they don't know how to compete with. The truth is
you're NOT competing against anybody. You can 'team up' with him and
the two of you will find that you can have a lot more fun and enjoy
each other's company a lot more by working together. "But I feel like a
lesbian," you argue. Nobody said anything about intimate relationships
while he's dressed up being a requirement here. If you're not
comfortable with that, tell him so and he should respect your wishes.
There may come a time when you find that you feel differently about
this aspect of crossdressing, but the important thing is to communicate
with each other and respect each other's opinions.
Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Yesterday there was
deceit about crossdressing, today there was discovery. What will your new tomorrow bring? It's entirely up to you.
