OK, so you've been accidentally discovered, or maybe you've finally come out to your wife. In either case the cat's out of the bag now and it's sort of like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube - it can't be done. She's asked you all the usual questions which usually come up upon discovering that her man is a crossdresser - "Are you gay?" "Do you want to become a woman?" Do you want to have 'the operation' "? "What did I do wrong?" "Where did I fail you?"
Although these are ALL important questions that desereve honest and thorough answers, the first three are almost always answerable with a resounding "NO!" by most CD's. However, the last two are going to be a KEY element in where things progress from here. Keep in mind that you, as a crossdresser, have undoubtedly lived with this secretly all your life and along the way you've educated yourself about it by reading anything and everything you could find. On the other side of the equation your wife has probably never actually KNOWINGLY met a crossdresser and has never had much of a passing thought about them. It's always been someone ELSE who she heard about, but now it's become a very up close and personal matter and something that she now has to deal with in some way.
Of all the times when she needs to be assured that SHE is still the center of your life, this is probably going to be the most critical. Crossdressers are sometimes very narcistic about their need and are often self centered without even realizing it. If there is any possibility that this holds true for the CD whose wife has just learned of his dressing, he needs to take immediate actions to correct such tendencies. You are an 'artificial' woman while your wife is still the 'real deal' and she needs the assurance of knowing that she is still THE woman in your life. Put very simply and very frankly, "More than anything, your wife still needs to feel like a woman."
Going off on a tangent and making unrealistic demands of her concerning your need to crossdress can only serve to compound matters further and lead her to believe that she is in competition with this "other woman" who has come barging into her life. By the same token, her unrealistic demands upon you can produce the same results so it's of utmost importance to communicate with each other to avoid such a situation. It's YOUR job to prove to her that she is still all of the woman in your life that she's always been and that nothing has changed in that respect. More than ever before she will need evidence and actions on your part that provides undeniable proof that this is true. Once this is accepted it is then time to begin the task of passing along to her all the information you have amassed along your journey. Be patient and answer her questions fully and honestly, and ask questions of her too. Sometimes a single sentence or correction of a misunderstanding can make all the difference in what lies ahead for the two of you. Above all, don't miss an opportunity to prove your love for her.
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