I recently received the following letter in an email from one of the members of my Yahoo group (The Secret Wardrobe) and at her request and with her permission have included it on this website in hopes that it will be of benefit to those who are in similar circumstances. The youth of today are more "in tune" with the times than some of us might believe. The letter is exactly as it was written and submitted to the Atlanta Tri-Ess chapter.
First let me say that I love my dad very much. Let me tell you about how I knew my dad had a secret. It's the little things he thought no one would notice. He would choose floral furniture, figurines to decorate with and then there was the closet. When I was pregnant with my first child I lived with my dad. My husband was in the army and he had to go to Korea for a year and I didn't want to live alone so my dad welcomed me to live with him. Pregnancy hormones and all. Late at night I would hear him in his closet doing things. I would hear this footlocker open and close. Just noise but I knew there was a secret. I think, rather I'm sure I knew long before this but I can't really pin point it. To be honest, I thought he dressed in women's clothes for sexual satisfaction. I figured that was his business so I never said anything. At one point I went online to a chat/support group and asked the group if I should talk to my dad about his secret. Everyone said that if he wanted to talk to me about it then he would and until then, let him have his privacy. Well, a couple of months later we were out to dinner and I applied some lip-gloss and I showed it to him. You know like you would do with a girlfriend. I did it without thinking. A couple of days later he e-mailed me and asked me if I knew his secret and if I did what was it. I e-mailed him back and told him that yes, I knew that he dressed in women' s clothing. Little did I know that that e-mail would change so many things and nothing all at the same time. In the beginning we talked about it by mostly e-mail. My dad sent me an e- mail one day and told me that he left a package at his house for me to read if I wanted to. Later that day I went by to read it. It was basically his life story in regards to cross-dressing. Wow, I had no idea how far back and in depth his feelings were. Things progressed slowly as far as my dad and I talking about his femme persona, Heather Anne. A little bit longer until I was ready to 'meet' Heather Anne. Now I am going to admit something that my dad doesn't even know, I have a close friend that knows about him. I talked to her about his dressing years before he even came out to me. I called her and we talked for hours. I will admit that I was a little freaked out about the whole femme personality/persona. I thought his dressing was something entirely different than what it really was. Did this change anything? NO! To be honest I am so proud of my dad. For being strong enough to admit how he feels and to be out of that closet. Out of the footlocker. My dad's coming out didn't change how I feel about him or how I think about him. He is still the same person. Just with an extra bonus. To date we have gone clothes shopping together (I have a better fashion sense than him), make-up shopping and yes, even a support group meeting. Am I ashamed of my dad? NO WAY! Is it hard keeping his secret? YES!!!!!! My family doesn't know. My husband, my kids, my mother, my sister. None of them know. But that's ok. I never lie. When my dad calls me over to tell him how an outfit looks or when he calls to tell me he's going out to a new restaurant with the girls, it's just my dad calling to talk or wants some help with something at the house. There is no need to lie. He's my dad. En femme or bubba, he is still the same person. My knowing has also made some things easier on him. I know that he is afraid of someone finding out so I "watch her back". If my family and I are out and want to stop by, I make sure to call well in advance instead of just stopping in. If family comes to visit, I check things out to be sure everything is put away. If something was ever to happen to him, I know to take care of all of Heather's stuff. We have a game plan and I think that puts her, and his, mind at ease. To sum my relationship with my dad is no easy task. All I can say is that I love my dad very much. Whether he's dressed in pants and a button up shirt or a purple evening gown, he's still my dad.
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