The
following article was created through the combined resources and joint efforts
of Dixie Darling, with “M2B” and “Sisbecca” (Founders and moderators of
“A Crossdresser’s Secret Garden”) as a source of information for
crossdressers, their wives or girlfriends, and anyone else who has a desire to
know in the crossdressing community. If you have not already done so please also
read the article “Transgendered
Definitions and Terms”
found elsewhere on this site.
It is our sincere wish that these documents will serve to educate and enlighten
you about the subject of crossdressing
OK, assuming that you’ve
read the article on “Definitions” you are now aware of what a crossdresser
is. To further enhance your knowledge base about them
here are a few little known facts. You may find some of these difficult
to believe, but rest assured that these are actual facts.
The vast majority of
crossdressers are male and over 90% of these are totally heterosexual. In fact,
the percentage of gay crossdressers is actually LESS than the percentage of gay
males in the general population. In addition the majority of this 90% are
married and most currently have, or have had, children. Doctors, pastors, high
(and low) ranking government officials, law enforcement personnel, airline
pilots, bus drivers, construction workers, computer technicians, accountants,
truck drivers, teachers, astronauts, football players, coaches, emergency
medical technicians, what do these all have in common? Whether you want to
accept the facts or not, the simple truth is that there are crossdressers in
every one of these categories. Furthermore, you can’t find an occupation, an
organization, or any status level
along the rungs of the social
ladder which doesn’t have any crossdressers. Crossdressing cuts across all
social, economic, racial and cultural barriers, it's just as prevalent in
the world of the rich and famous as it is in the average neighborhoods, where most
of us live.
Do you know any crossdressers?
Your immediate response will probably be "No", but wait just a
minute… here's a shocker for you: Current estimates as to how many
crossdressers there are that range from 1% to 20% of the population. While 20%
seems a little high and 1% low, for our purposes let's take the standard
nationally accepted figure of 10%. Taking that into consideration, you have
friends and acquaintances at work, school, church, civic organizations,
political organizations, fishing buddies, hunting buddies, golf and bowling
friends, and probably hundreds of other places. Do you know 100 people? Chances
are you know SEVERAL hundred. Just for the sake of argument assume you know 500
people. Now, out of these 500 people, 50 will be crossdressers. Can you identify
which ones they are? Probably not. And the reason you can't distinguish them
from any of the others is because you're looking
for something DIFFERENT about them. Well, guess what - if THAT'S what you're
looking for you'll never be able to pick them out. Why? Because they're NOT any
different than anyone else. Yes, they crossdress and enjoy being feminine from
time to time, but stop and look at them for a minute. Are they obvious?
Certainly not!
One hint might be the way
crossdressers seem to get along with others - especially their wives.
Crossdressers who enjoy the blessings of an accepting wife are more well
adjusted, have lower blood pressure, fewer heart attacks, less trouble with
drugs and alcohol, and are in generally better health than most people. They
will usually have all the characteristics of a person who enjoys life to its
fullest and their wives are the biggest beneficiary of all. Bet THAT got your
attention, huh? The reason for this is simple - crossdressers whose wives have learned the truth about
crossdressing and accepted this part of their husband’s personality find
themselves surrounded by a love greater than they’ve ever known. On the other
hand, those who must, by necessity, keep their crossdressing hidden from their
wives and shrouded in a cloak of secrecy are likely to suffer from any number of
stress related problems. Most of the time the relationship between these
unfortunate men and their wives is stale at best. Usually there’s a
‘coldness’ that exists between them and a lack of trust one for the other.
These are the ones who, unless something changes, will leave this earth sooner
than they should.
The common bond shared by all
crossdressers, aside from their adoration of femininity, is a goal to see the
public educated as to what a crossdresser really is. It's this rejection by
society that affects all of them and they are fully aware that if the truth were
ever realized life would be far less complicated and there would be no worries about someone being ostracized
or ridiculed simply because they are a crossdresser.
The cold hard facts are this:
Crossdressers are not made, they are BORN. They don't simply wake up one morning
and decide that they're going to be a crossdresser. Theories abound as to the
specific causes of crossdressing and even with all of today's technological and
medical miracles science has yet to discover the cause. I won't get into the
details of it here, but the "hormone wash" theory seems to hold the
most credibility at the current time. Even if THAT is true, there's nothing that
can prevent it. We, as a society, have compassion for babies born with birth
defects or abnormalities that we can see and we all sympathize with those for
whom nothing can be done to correct their problems. Unfortunate people are
involved in accidents every day which leave them permanently disabled. Some
require extensive cosmetic surgery to return to some resemblance of what they
looked like before their accident. Some will lose arms or legs and will spend
the rest of their lives with artificial limbs. We, as a compassionate society,
do all we can to help these unfortunate individuals and the last thing a
honorable person would do would be to ridicule or belittle any of these. But we,
as a society, are painfully short of the same kind of understanding when it
comes to things we CAN'T see in the physical sense. What's in one’s heart and
mind is just as important as what we can see outwardly, but we don't treat these
inward situations as being as equally important as those we can see in the
physical sense.
An average of one in every ten male babies that will
be born today will be a crossdresser. Let me ask you, Mr.or Mrs. Average Citizen, "What if YOU were the one
out of those ten? Just how would YOU handle the cutting remarks and the fingers
pointing at you? How would you feel if your spouse was constantly belittling you
for something over which you had no control?"
Suppose your son walks in one day and tells you that he has been dressing
in women's clothes for years and you weren't aware of it. What would you do?
Would you still love him? Would your decision be to banish him from your family?
Would you call him ugly names and make fun of him?
What if that one in ten is the grandson you were bouncing on your knee a
little while ago? If you knew right now that he was going to be a crossdresser
would you withdraw your love and attention? Would you blame your son or daughter
for having a ‘defective child’? It's something to think very seriously
about, isn't it? And yet every day thousands of people put themselves in the
position of being a judge of their fellow man and elect to do just those things
when they make a conscious choice to treat crossdressers as second class
citizens. These people are the ones who need to stop and think about how
different they would be reacting if they were that ONE IN TEN.
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