I
was into the computer revolution when the internet was only an idea just
beginning to take form in someone's mind. As it finally came into being and
gained widespread use I was just like everyone else - I was right in there in
the middle of it all. Once I got the basics down it dawned on me that there
might be some information of a very specific nature out there somewhere so I sat
down one afternoon and keyed in the word 'transvestite'. I expected to get
either a few very insignificant search results or possibly none at all. When the
results started returning I sat there in awe just staring at the screen there
were HUNDREDS, maybe even thousands of sites related to transvestites,
transsexuals, and crossdressers.
Being
behind a "firewall" at work restricted my access to a lot of these
sites, but I was able to get to enough of them to know that I was going to have
to get home internet access so I could access EVERYTHING on the net. It has been
said that "Misery loves company", well the same thing can be said
about happiness and excitement also. You can not believe the happiness,
excitement, and relief I felt just finding out that there were others out there
just like me, I wasn't alone any more, and what I thought was a disease or
mental disorder was neither. I was basically a normal person who had a taste for
the unusual and the extraordinary gift of the ability to express my feminine
side by donning the clothes and appearance of the feminine gender.
For
a long time I just accessed sites, read bio's, looked at pictures and photos,
and just sort of 'researched' the subject. I learned how to access the news and
support groups for TG/CD and read the messages being sent back and forth. I had
a deep desire to communicate with someone else like myself. The problems related
to doing so were many and somewhat complex. Foremost, I had to have an anonymous
mailbox for which only I had access and that would not be sending any messages
to the mailbox that came from my ISP when I subscribed to the internet. In
addition I wanted to be very discrete about who I might correspond with. It had
to be someone who had similar outlooks and ideals regarding this phenomenon. The
problem with the email was solved when I signed up for one of the free email
services. The process of selecting who would be my first email contacts dictated
that I carefully read the information on their web pages and then proceed with
caution. I finally got up the nerve to write to someone and two days later when
I checked my new email box I had my first response. Talk about nervous! It was a
thrill and at the same time a chill. I won't bother to tell you who this person
was, but they still have a very prominent web site, we have become good friends,
and we are still communicating with each other. Since then I have made many
other contacts and have narrowed them down to just a few. And those are the ones
who were sincerely interested in discussing crossdressing in a way that was down
to earth and lacked the sexual content I found so prevalent in many of the sites
I visited.
It
took a long time after this before I actually made telephone contact with a
crossdresser similar to my own interests and that was another thrill and chill.
It is something I really was looking forward to doing, but at the same time I
was again extremely nervous and cautious. But guess what I found out --- to put
it in my new found friend's own words in her email to me the next day,
"See, we don't bite!"
