When you dress enfemme and
stay that way all day long as I recently did on Halloween, you notice a
lot of the LITTLE things that you don't usually think about because
these are things the typical male will never experience unless he
spends an entire day being totally enfemme. These are things that a
typical woman has lived with for so long that they have grown to either
ignore them or don't even think about them when they happen.
First things first. When you are finally dressed and ready to step out
into the real world (and this is assuming that you have on a really
nice dress of some sort), there is more than a conscious effort to stay
well away from anything that might soil your clothes. The short walk to
the car, especially if it's parked in an outdoor location, causes a
series of new sensations which may have been experienced before, but
not at the present magnitude. Cool air circulates deliciously around
stockinged legs which were clean shaven just the night before. The
inside area of the stockings at the level of the upper thighs rub
slightly together and make a soft feminine sound as the nylon surfaces
gently rub against each other. If breast forms, or suitable properly
weighted substitutes, are being worn, there is a definite awareness of
their presence and a consciousness of the additional weight against the
wearer's chest. With each step taken the distinctly feminine sound of
high heels resonating on a hard surface combines with a jiggle and
bounce of the additional weight inside the bra to add to the enjoyment
of this moment. The mere fact that one is now outside, in broad open
daylight, and dressed in the feminine persona which has here-to-fore
been forced to remain hidden deep inside is exhilarating almost to the
point of being exotically intoxicating.
Getting into the car is now a different set of circumstances. No longer
can you just put one leg in, hop in the seat and then pull the other
leg inside. The whole process is different. You now have to be aware
that trying to get in this way will result in your dress going way up
and exposing your derrière. So you quickly learn to sit down first and
then swing both legs in at once to avoid the possibility of this
happening. Once seated and with the door closed you have to retrieve
your keys from your purse. You can't just reach in your pocket and get
them like you usually do because you HAVE no pockets. All the necessary
things that you normally have in your pockets are now relegated to your
PURSE. Many have been replace by OTHER 'necessities' that weren't
needed before - a compact of pressed powder, eye liner pencils,
mascara, blusher, a tube of lipstick, even a small bottle of nail glue
(just in case one of your glamour length nails should come off before
you're ready to take it off). You also notice that yes, it IS more
difficult to do things with these long nails on your hands. Care must
be taken to avoid chipping the polish you had so carefully applied in
three coats a day or so ago. But you do manage to extract your keys and
get them into the ignition and start the engine. You pull the seat belt
over your shoulder and snap it into the buckle (careful with the
nails!) and notice how nicely it comes to rest between the cups of your
bra. Finally, you pull out of your driveway and on to the highway.
You're very conscious of how your dress "rides up" when you sit. This
is entirely different than when you are wearing pants and it's also
different in the respect that things are a lot 'breezier' than ever
before. Then there's the slight, but pleasant, tickle of the long hair
around your face and laying on your shoulders and the tiny sound made
by the earrings dangling from your earlobes is exciting. You are now
cognizant of the lipstick you have on due to the feel of it on your
lips as well as the slight taste, and it's amazing how you make it a
point not to lick or touch your lips. In similar fashion you are also
very much aware of the rest of your makeup and realize that you should
not be touching your face, rubbing your eyes or nose, etc. Driving in
heels is different too. Your feet are cooler and the feeling of
stockings on them is vastly different than the common socks and shoes
you would have on at other times.
Getting out of the vehicle when you reach your destination is now also
a carefully planned action. Remembering to get your purse before you
lock the door is a necessity. Walking is now a new experience and
depending on the type and height of heels you have on as well as the
experience you have in walking in them, you have to think about what
you're doing when you're walking. Walking also now requires shorter
steps and the combination of this and the type shoes you have on will
automatically generate a slight hip sway and a corresponding hint of a
'bounce' which, in turn, make one well aware of the bounce and sway of
the additional weight in the chest area. There is a distinctly feminine
sound made by women's shoes - especially high heels - and this sound is
music to the ears as you take those shorter planned steps.
Once in the office you now are faced with the task of finding a
suitable and secure location to store your purse. Upon turning on your
computer it immediately becomes obvious that you have to do things
differently when you have long nails on your fingers. Typing is slower
and more deliberate. There are now lipstick prints on your coffee cup
where there normally aren't any, and this is unique and a very uniquely
feminine thing.
As the day wears on there are literally hundreds of experiences that
are unique because of the way you are dressed and the image of
femininity that you're trying to portray. I won't even mention the
procedure you have to go through to go to the restroom, but it is
vastly different and more time consuming than what you are used to I
can assure you. If you smoke, you make a trip or two in the morning and
the afternoon to a designated smoking area to light up. This again
involves walking and the more you walk, the better and more proficient
and poised you become at it. Upon arrival at the smoking area watch
women and men as they smoke. Women have a most definitive difference in
the way they do it and this difference seems to be in the form of a
somewhat 'elegant' manner. So you try to emulate this as closely as
possible and are intrigued by the lipstick stains on the cigarette that
aren't usually there.
Lunchtime offers a big variety of choices, challenges, decisions, and
opportunities. Eat in? Drive through? Cafeteria (if one is available)?
What can you eat and do so in a ladylike manner? Then after the meal,
there's the delicious pleasure of being able to pull out your compact
and lipstick and freshen your makeup right in plain view of everybody.
So you see, all these seemingly insignificant things, these LITTLE
things, are actually very 'big' things to us as CDs and we take great
pleasure in enjoying them. Real women (or as a CD friend of mine has
coined them "FAB" - meaning "Female At Birth") take most of these
little things for granted. Such a shame when they are such special
'mini-moments'.
Dixie
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