All of the following responses are real.
They are replies from real men who are either married to or are in real
relationships with women. Some had no objections to their internet IDs
appearing as the respondent while others weren't comfortable with it.
For this reason the decision was made to eliminate all the ID's and
replace them simply with
CD #1, CD #2 , CD # 3, etc. Additionally, there are places where other
names were mentioned. These have been replaced with "(name omitted)" to
provide additional security for the respondents. Other than spelling
corrections, the text is unchanged except where necessary to clarify
something.
CD # 1:
(1) How did your wife find out about your crossdressing?
(A) Walked in from shopping with girlfriend seeing me asleep on lazyboy in living room with her black teddy, garter belt and
stockings on. Girlfriend was right behind her also seen me.
(2) What were her initial reactions and emotions and how long did these last?
(A) Shocked then upset (crying) then mad wanted to leave. Girlfriend helped calm her down. Her girlfriend had caught her
brother in her things and knew a little about crossdressing. Lasted about two days her being mad. I think she was more
mad about her girlfriend being with her and seeing me than my outfit.
(3) What were YOUR thoughts immediately after she found out?
(A) Very embarrassed and humiliated at first, then I was glad that it was out in open. Worried about her leaving for a week
or so.
(4) Assuming that she became accepting or tolerant of your crossdressing, what do YOU consider as being the reason
she accepted ?
(A) Talking with girlfriend and me about it. Understanding it had nothing to do with her fem self or me wanting to be gay.
(5) Again, assuming that she is accepting or tolerant, does she participate or offer assistance to you when you dress
enfemme? If so, to what extent?
(A) She does accept and understands I enjoy it but she is not crazy about it. We have been together over 20 yrs and she
has seen me in full form with the breast forms, shaved legs and painted nails and all. She even calls me by maryjane
when I am dressed and that has been a lot lately being it is colder
out. The only help she gives is by buying things she thinks I will look
good in when she is out shopping or if together I see something I like
she will pay for it. She does enjoy seeing me in the things she buys.
Went on a two week vacation once with nothing but panties in my
suitcase for underwear along with stockings.
(6) Drawing from your personal experience what advice would you give to another crossdresser who is considering
coming out to his wife?
(A) Just do it. Sit down with her and explain it to her and show her
this website and enjoy it together. If you have to hide it from her
then you are with the wrong person in life. Maybe she will not want to
see you dressed but she should at least know that you do it and you
enjoy it and it is a part of your being. Life is short enjoy it
together.
(7) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife and she has NOT accepted you and has indicated
to you that she will not tolerate any crossdressing. What do you plan to do about this?
(A) Does not apply.
(8) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife and she has NOT accepted you and has indicated
to you that she will not tolerate any crossdressing. What do you think you might have done DIFFERENTLY that
would have caused her to accept or tolerate?
(A) N/A
(9) If you have come out to your wife, and have found that she will not
accept/tolerate your crossdressing, do you now regret telling her about
it? Why, or why not?
(A) N/A
(10) In your best judgment, what are her major objections or fears about your crossdressing?
(A) That I was gay and wanted men.
(11) Other than making an attempt to quit dressing altogether, what else do you plan to do, or think might be best to
do to help her be more comfortable with the fact that you are a crossdresser, even if she's non-accepting??
(A) She is very comfortable with it and she does read about it to
understand it better and that has done a lot for the both of us. Just
being in this group has helped me a lot to come to terms with my being
a crossdresser. I do not feel ashamed to be a crossdresser but proud to
be one. I am also proud to be part of this great group we have here. A
big hug to all my girlfriends here. Thank you all. P.S. I am writing
this dressed as the woman I am.
CD # 2:
(1) How did your wife find out about your crossdressing?
I told her.
(2) What were her initial reactions and emotions and how long did these last?
She was shocked and resented me. She would not accept it. This lasted almost 10 years.
(3) What were YOUR thoughts immediately after she found out?
Her reaction, although not completely unexpected, made me despondent as I foresaw that this would end our marriage.
(4) Assuming that she became accepting or tolerant of your crossdressing, what do YOU consider as being the reason
she accepted ?
Our love of each other -- neither of us could face the prospect of
living without each other. She decided she would make the effort to
understand what I was about. When she did, she discovered it was not
anything that she could not accept.
(5) Again, assuming that she is accepting or tolerant, does she
participate or offer assistance to you when you dress enfemme? If so,
to what extent?
In the beginning, she helped me with makeup, and hair. We go shopping
together (we are both the same size) and share clothing. She tries on
clothing that is only for me. She encourages me to get out more.
(6) Drawing from your personal experience what advice would you give to another crossdresser who is considering
coming out to his wife?
The sooner you tell your wife, the better. Preferably before the
wedding (I wish I had). Do not ask for or expect acceptance. Shoot to
get understanding and that will lead to acceptance.
(7) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife and she has NOT accepted you and has indicated
to you that she will not tolerate any crossdressing. What do you plan to do about this?
(8) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife and she has NOT accepted you and has indicated
to you that she will not tolerate any crossdressing. What do you think you might have done DIFFERENTLY that
would have caused her to accept or tolerate?
N/A
(9) If you have come out to your wife, and have found that she will not accept/tolerate your crossdressing, do you
now regret telling her about it? Why, or why not?
N/A
(10) In your best judgment, what are her major objections or fears about your crossdressing?
The fear that it was related to homosexuality, that I might become a
transsexual. The stereotype drag queen image. The fear that others
would find out.
(11) Other than making an attempt to quit dressing altogether, what
else do you plan to do, or think might be best to do to help her be
more comfortable with the fact that you are a crossdresser, even if
she's non-accepting??
No answer given
CD # 3:
(1) How did your wife find out about your crossdressing?
We're not married yet. I told my g/f after 1 week of our relationship thinking I would be discovered eventually. I
offered to give it up if she didn't like it.
(2) What were her initial reactions and emotions and how long did these last?
She wouldn't have me quit and was happy for me to continue. We were not together at the time (being interstate as we
met at a Conference). She asked for photos and gave me encouragement. These feelings have not ended save for a
few awkward points in time.
(3) What were YOUR thoughts immediately after she found out?
I was a bit surprised. I'd heard many stories of Trannies breaking up with their spouses/girlfriends after coming out
about being a CD.
(4) Assuming that she became accepting or tolerant of your crossdressing, what do YOU consider as being the reason
she accepted ?
She was very active in the gay/lesbian community which I later found out. She already had a number of Drag Queen
friends from the Gay sector. Her father also dealt in Plastic Surgery and had spent some time doing SRS and
corrective surgery for TS's. Her Mum had also performed Scientific Research into the T Community in regards to
Genetiism. So she had a pretty good background in this area already.
(5) Again, assuming that she is accepting or tolerant, does she participate or offer assistance to you when you dress
enfemme? If so, to what extent?
Occasionally. Being Vision Impaired she often assists with my lipstick application. Usually it is the other way round
though as I am the one more interested in Style. She is a little on the butch side so I usually assist in Clothing selection
when she is required to be a bit more femme. We used to share clothes and have been shopping together quite often
though she is now a bit bigger than me.
(6) Drawing from your personal experience what advice would you give to another crossdresser who is considering
coming out to his wife?
The sooner the better. I think most spouses are more concerned about the deceit than the actual dressing. Doing it
behind closed doors brews mistrust, being in a marriage is all about communication and being able to resolve problems
by talking about them. Don't force it on her, it's a lifestyle some people won't want to live in, in which case you might
have to consider doing it "On your own". But as long as she is aware of it....
(7) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife and she has NOT accepted you and has indicated
to you that she will not tolerate any crossdressing. What do you plan to do about this?
N/A
(8) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife and she has NOT accepted you and has indicated
to you that she will not tolerate any crossdressing. What do you think you might have done DIFFERENTLY that
would have caused her to accept or tolerate?
N/A
(9) If you have come out to your wife, and have found that she will not accept/tolerate your crossdressing, do you
now regret telling her about it? Why, or why not?
NR
(10) In your best judgment, what are her major objections or fears about your crossdressing?
Objections? I spend too much money on Femme clothes and occasionally forget to look after my masculine style.
For someone who does not live as a girl full time I have more lingerie than she does :)
Fears... Well like most SO's I think the major one would have to be "Is he going to end up being a TS?:" and it's not a
question that can be easily answered. Other fears are about how we would break it to our children. Originally there
was concern about her parents finding out but this has passed and her Mum now knows. She sometimes fears
drawing public attention.
(11)Other than making an attempt to quit dressing altogether, what else do you plan to do, or think might be best to do to
help her be more comfortable with the fact that you are a crossdresser, even if she's non-accepting??
Well she's accepting so this isn't really relevant. However as someone who did "Offer to quit" I wanted to make a
comment. Both her and I think back about that time occasionally an we've both come to realize it would have been a
lie. The thing is I could never really "quit". I could purge but eventually I would come back to it.
We both know now that is too much a part of my life just to give up.
CD # 4:
1) How did your wife find out about your crossdressing?
I told her, and showed her the rack of dresses hanging in my closet BEFORE we were married (30 years ago)
(2) What were her initial reactions and emotions and how long did these last?
I think she thought it was a "phase" I would grow out of. That lasted about five years.
(3) What were YOUR thoughts immediately after she found out?
Relief that she still wanted to marry me.
(4) Assuming that she became accepting or tolerant of your crossdressing, what do YOU consider as being the reason she
accepted ?
My winning personality> <grin> Honestly? I don't know.
(5) Again, assuming that she is accepting or tolerant, does she participate or offer assistance to you when you dress
enfemme? If so, to what extent?
No. She allows me to do what I want, but will not participate.
(6) Drawing from your personal experience what advice would you give to another crossdresser who is considering
coming out to his wife?
Do it. Don't hide it. If she can't handle it, there are probably other issues that need to be addressed too. Be patient.
Don't force her into seeing you dressed, don't push the issue, hide it if you need to, but make sure she DOES know
that this is something you need to do, even if only in the privacy of your own locked room.
(7) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife and she has NOT accepted you and has indicated
to you that she will not tolerate any crossdressing. What do you plan to do about this?
Not having faced that situation, I don't know what I'd do. At the time
I told her, we were still single, I don't think I would
have stayed with her had she rejected it outright. After our 30 years together, I'm glad that DIDN'T happen.
(8) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife and she has NOT accepted you and has indicated
to you that she will not tolerate any crossdressing. What do you think you might have done DIFFERENTLY that
would have caused her to accept or tolerate?
Again, I'm really not qualified to answer this.
(9) If you have come out to your wife, and have found that she will not accept/tolerate your crossdressing, do you now
regret telling her about it? Why, or why not?
No answer (see above)
(10) In your best judgment, what are her major objections or fears about your crossdressing?
Mainly what other people would think of her if they found out I dress.
(11)Other than making an attempt to quit dressing altogether, what else do you plan to do, or think might be best to do to
help her be more comfortable with the fact that you are a crossdresser, even if she's non-accepting??
Don't push it. For many years was "I know you do it, just don't do it in front of ME." Keeping my dressing out of the
other parts of our life helped her come to terms with it.
CD # 5:
1) How did your wife find out about your crossdressing?
I told her soon after we were married
(2) What were her initial reactions and emotions and how long did these last?
Accepting at first lasted about a month
(3) What were YOUR thoughts immediately after she found out?
Nervous
(4) Assuming that she became accepting or tolerant of your crossdressing, what do YOU consider as being the reason
she accepted ?
She is tolerant but she feels she has no option. Tolorate the single evil because I'm a good husband and father. I
probably try harder to be a good spouse and parent because I feel guilty,
(5) Again, assuming that she is accepting or tolerant, does she participate or offer assistance to you when you dress
enfemme? If so, to what extent?
No cooperation at all.
(6) Drawing from your personal experience what advice would you give to another crossdresser who is considering
coming out to his wife?
Do it prior to marriage it will give her time to figure out if she wants to continue and both of you the opportunity to avoid
a future divorce or other problems.
(7) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife and she has NOT accepted you and has indicated
to you that she will not tolerate any crossdressing. What do you plan to do about this?
When my wife became obstinate, I tried to stop. It was unsuccessful and put distance between us. We grew apart and
divorce became more of an option than marriage (we are still married)
(8) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife and she has NOT accepted you and has indicated
to you that she will not tolerate any crossdressing. What do you think you might have done DIFFERENTLY that would
have caused her to accept or tolerate?
I should have told her prior to marriage.
(9) If you have come out to your wife, and have found that she will not accept/tolerate your crossdressing, do you now
regret telling her about it? Why, or why not?
I do not regret coming out to her. I wish I had told her before we got married. Marriages have many problems and
end for many reasons. This is just another brick in the wall.
(10)In your best judgment, what are her major objections or fears about your crossdressing?
She has never been able to explain. She has only ventured that she married a man not a woman. As for anything
specific, she only states that she can't explain but she doesn't like it and never will.
(11)Other than making an attempt to quit dressing altogether, what else do you plan to do, or think might be best to do to
help her be more comfortable with the fact that you are a crossdresser, even if she's non-accepting?
I've given up. It is an activity that we just can't share. I think that may be the best approach for some couples. In the
real world there are quite a few activities that we just don't have to share. Sports, lawn chores, automotive repair, &
crossdressing.
CD # 6:
(1) How did your wife find out about your crossdressing?
She does not know I Crossdress
(2) What were her initial reactions and emotions and how long did these last?
NOT APPLICABLE
(3) What were YOUR thoughts immediately after she found out?
NOT APPLICABLE
(4) Assuming that she became accepting or tolerant of your crossdressing, what do YOU consider as being the reason she
accepted ?
NOT APPLICABLE
(5) Again, assuming that she is accepting or tolerant, does she participate or offer assistance to you when you dress
enfemme? If so, to what extent?
NOT APPLICABLE
(6) Drawing from your personal experience what advice would you give to another crossdresser who is considering
coming out to his wife?
BE CAUTIOUS, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE GOOD INFORMATION ON CROSSDRESSING AND BE
ATTENTIVE TO HER AND GIVE HONEST ANSWERS TO HER QUESTIONS. BE PREPARED TO
REASSURE HER THAT THIS IS YOU ONLY ANOTHER SIDE THAT SHE WAS NOT AWARE OF AND
THAT YOU ARE STILL THE SAME PERSON WITH THE SAME FEELINGS.
(7) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife and she has NOT accepted you and has indicated
to you that she will not tolerate any crossdressing. What do you plan to do about this?
AT THE PRESENT TIME I HAVE NOT COME OUT TO HER.
(8) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife
and she has NOT accepted you and has indicated to you that she will not
tolerate any crossdressing. What do you think you might have done
DIFFERENTLY that would
have caused her to accept or tolerate?
NOT APPLICABLE
(9) If you have come out to your wife, and have found that she will not accept/tolerate your crossdressing, do you now
regret telling her about it? Why, or why not?
NOT APPLICABLE
(10)In your best judgment, what are her major objections or fears about your crossdressing?
THAT ALL CROSSDRESSERS ARE GAY AND SHE HAS INDICATED TO ME THAT IF I WERE A
CROSSDRESSER SHE DOES NOT WANT A HUSBAND THAT IS A SISSY AND IF I WERE THAT WAY
THEN SHE AND I WILL SHOULD GO OUR SEPARATE WAYS (HER WORDS)
(11)Other than making an attempt to quit dressing altogether, what else do you plan to do, or think might be best to do to
help her be more comfortable with the fact that you are a crossdresser, even if she's non-accepting??
CONTINUE TO STAY IN THE CLOSET UNTIL SUCH TIME THAT I FIND THAT SHE MAY BE
ACCEPTING
CD # 7:
(1) How did your wife find out about your crossdressing?
Heck...She started me.
(2) What were her initial reactions and emotions and how long did these last?
She liked it.
(3) What were YOUR thoughts immediately after she found out?
I liked it too.
(4) Assuming that she became accepting or tolerant of your crossdressing, what do YOU consider as being the reason she
accepted ?
To a degree, She likes the dominant male role.
(5) Again, assuming that she is accepting or tolerant, does she
participate or offer assistance to you when you dress enfemme? If so,
to what extent?
Advise on clothes, help with hair, make-up tips.
(6) Drawing from your personal experience what advice would you give to another crossdresser who is considering
coming out to his wife?
No experience with that...sorry.
(7) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife and she has NOT accepted you and has indicated
to you that she will not tolerate any crossdressing. What do you plan to do about this?
N/A
(8) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife and she has NOT accepted you and has indicated
to you that she will not tolerate any crossdressing.> What do you think you might have done DIFFERENTLY that
would have caused her to accept or tolerate?
N/A
(9) If you have come out to your wife, and have found that she will not
accept/tolerate your crossdressing, do you now regret telling her about
it? Why, or why not?
N/A
(10)In your best judgment, what are her major objections or fears about your crossdressing?
Perhaps not meeting all my needs as a woman.
(11)Other than making an attempt to quit dressing altogether, what else
do you plan to do, or think might be best to do to help her be more
comfortable with the fact that you are a crossdresser, even if she's
non-accepting??
Impress that it is non-threatening.
CD # 8:
(1) How did your wife find out about your crossdressing?
I told her one day that I was having issues, and that exploring dressing was one way I was considering trying to deal
with them. At that point, I hadn't actually crossdressed to any extent, which makes me unusual.
(2) What were her initial reactions and emotions and how long did these last?
Support, mostly. For the greater issues, that is. The specifics of wearing women's clothing was uncomfortable to her.
The second thing out of her mouth was 'hands off my clothing'. Which was a good point, as I'm larger than her in
about every dimension, so very little of her stuff would actually fit me without stretching.
(3) What were YOUR thoughts immediately after she found out?
Relief that she didn't say no.
(4) Assuming that she became accepting or tolerant of your crossdressing, what do YOU consider as being the reason
she accepted ?
The fact that I didn't shock her in any visual way really helped. I had been discussing the greater issues for some time,
and this was just another aspect of it. It turned out well for me.
(5) Again, assuming that she is accepting or tolerant, does she participate or offer assistance to you when you dress
enfemme? If so, to what extent?
I've noticed through body-language and off-the-cuff comments that she
isn't as accepting as she verbally says she is. So I do try to hide the
more... out there dressing I do. For the better, I believe. She has
offered makeup tips a time or two. She is a nail-polish fetishist, so
that aspect came 100% naturally. Generally, she does not participate
much at all, but then she hasn't expressed an interest in it.
(6) Drawing from your personal experience what advice would you give to another crossdresser who is considering
coming out to his wife?
It can be a high-shock thing. The only thing I can recommend are the standard rules:
1: Do not in any way whip out a picture of yourself Dressed, or just show up dressed.
2: (corollary) Even if she says, 'pfft, what's the fuss?' don't jump
into dressing full time. Ease your inclusion of her in your activities
gradually. Gradually. Gradually. I've heard enough stories of wives
saying, "No big deal," when it
turned out to be a big deal in the end once all aspects were understood by the wife.
[questions 7-11 skipped as my wife is 'accepting']
CD # 9:
(1) How did your wife find out about your crossdressing?
Halloween costume pictures, sharing some makeover pictures and an offer to help with appearance / image.
(2) What were her initial reactions and emotions and how long did these last?
Fun & giggles - right up to the time we encountered her [recently
ex S.O.] He spotted the two of us. I've never seen someone's eyes get
that big ;-)
(3) What were YOUR thoughts immediately after she found out?
Well, she's not screaming - or laughing
(4) Assuming that she became accepting or tolerant of your crossdressing, what do YOU consider as being the reason
she accepted ?
Honesty.
(5) Again, assuming that she is accepting or tolerant, does she participate or offer assistance to you when you dress
enfemme? If so, to what extent?
Helps with clothing selection and makeup. [We are both trying to figure out liquid eyeliners]
(6) Drawing from your personal experience what advice would you give to another crossdresser who is considering
coming out to his wife?
My S.O. knew BEFORE our relationship blossomed - can't help much there.
(7) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife and she has NOT accepted you and has indicated
to you that she will not tolerate any crossdressing. What do you plan to do about this?
(8) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife and she has NOT accepted you and has indicated
to you that she will not tolerate any crossdressing. What do you think you might have done DIFFERENTLY that
would have caused her to accept or tolerate?
(9) If you have come out to your wife, and have found that she will not
accept/tolerate your crossdressing, do you now regret telling her about
it? Why, or why not?
(10)In your best judgment, what are her major objections or fears about your crossdressing?
Repeated question [from TGSO] Why dress up as a woman if they don't want to have sex with a man?
Agreed that only a small percentage of people will have transphobic reactions - but which ones?
Media fostered confusion of CD/TV, TG [porn 'she-male'], TS and gay.
(11)Other than making an attempt to quit dressing altogether, what else do you plan to do, or think might be best to do to
help her be more comfortable with the fact that you are a crossdresser, even if she's non-accepting??
We've set some geographic boundaries to reduce the chances of unplanned encounters. In general, over 1 hours drive
time from the house is assumed to be OK.
CD # 10:
(1) How did your wife find out about your crossdressing?
I told her before we were married.
(2) What were her initial reactions and emotions and how long did these last?
She was not happy with it, she asked if I were gay, or if I wanted to
become a woman. She was very uncomfortable with it and did not want to
discuss it very much. She has never become comfortable with my
crossdressing, although I wear panties all the time it is more from my
just doing it than an acquiescence on her part.
(3) What were YOUR thoughts immediately after she found out?
I felt good that it was out in the open but was apprehensive about her reaction. Did not know if it bode well for our marriage.
(4) Assuming that she became accepting or tolerant of your
crossdressing, what do YOU consider as being the reason she accepted ?
If she accepted my crossdressing I believe it would be in an effort to
maintain our marriage, to keep me from leaving - not a true acceptance
but more of a surrender.
(5) Again, assuming that she is accepting or tolerant, does she
participate or offer assistance to you when you dress enfemme? If so,
to what extent?
No! She does not offer any assistance or participate in any way.
(6) Drawing from your personal experience what advice would you give to
another crossdresser who is considering coming out to his wife?
Do it as soon as possible, preferably before the marriage. If she is
not accepting then the marriage should be called off - it will just
cause pain for everyone. As a crossdresser I know my
needs/desires/feelings never went away and have only gotten stronger
over the years. If a wife is not accepting in the beginning the odds of
her becoming accepting are not very good.
(7) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife
and she has NOT accepted you and has indicated to you that she will not
tolerate any crossdressing. What do you plan to do about this?
I no longer openly dress in front of her. It really sucks that I have
to hide inside my own house from the person that is closest to me. If
she would not tolerate any crossdressing I would move out to the house
and end the relationship.
(8) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife
and she has NOT accepted you and has indicated to you that she will not
tolerate any crossdressing. What do you think you might have done
DIFFERENTLY that would have caused her to accept or tolerate?
I am not sure anything could be done to change a person’s perception if
they think crossdressing is so bad that it can not be tolerated. I have
tried to talk to my wife and have given her articles on crossdressing
but she seemed to only find the negative aspects in them - no positives.
(9) If you have come out to your wife, and have found that she will not
accept/tolerate your crossdressing, do you now regret telling her about
it? Why, or why not?
I don’t regret telling my wife because I would not have wanted to see
her reaction if she found out later in the marriage. Brings on that
whole thing of what else would I be hiding. I do regret not taking more
time in the beginning to explain and gauge her reactions, I think that
would have saved us both some heart burn.
(10)In your best judgment, what are her major objections or fears about your crossdressing?
Her major fear is that I will go public, be recognized and embarrass
her. She has actually stated that she is afraid that I will be killed
in a car wreck or something then she would have to identify me and they
would know I was wearing women’s panties or whatever. I think her
greatest fear is her personal embarrassment, followed by societal
repercussions such as job loss, etc. On a personal level I have a
feeling she is somewhat jealous of my appearance when dressed - I am a
smaller dress size.
(11)Other than making an attempt to quit dressing altogether, what else
do you plan to do, or think might be best to do to help her be more
comfortable with the fact that you are a crossdresser, even if she's
non-accepting??
I will just continue with the way things are. I do not plan on making
any changes that would restrict my opportunities to dress. If anything
my plans include dressing more and letting her decide if she wants to
accept it or not - if not then I will leave, but I will not go further
into the closet.
CD # 11:
(1) How did your wife find out about your crossdressing?
I told her a few weeks before we were married in
1999 (married 2000)
(2) What were her initial reactions and emotions and how long did these last?
She said she accepted anything I was into and did
not judge people for alternative habits. But she wanted to be sure she wasn't
losing her fiancée and I would still be her man.
(3) What were YOUR thoughts immediately after she found out?
Very relieved and surprised, she wanted to see me
"dressed" next time she was at my place.
(4) Assuming that she became accepting or tolerant of your crossdressing, what
do YOU consider as being the reason
she accepted ?
I think she was curious about crossdressing etc.
(5) Again, assuming that she is accepting or tolerant, does she participate or
offer assistance to you when you dress enfemme? If
so, to what extent?
She does offer advice, and occasionally does my eyes.
Although we both know I am a far way from passable, she asked if I
would go out in public with her (in a different city)
(6) Drawing from your personal experience what advice would you give to another
crossdresser who is considering coming out to his
wife?
Be yourself, be honest and don't hide anything
(7) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife and she has
NOT accepted you and has indicated to you that
she will not tolerate any crossdressing. What do you
plan to do about this?
N/A
(8) Assuming that you (as a crossdresser) have come out to your wife and she has
NOT accepted you and has indicated to you that
she will not tolerate any crossdressing. What do you
think you might have done DIFFERENTLY that would have caused her to
accept or tolerate?
N/A
(9) If you have come out to your wife, and have found that she will not
accept/tolerate your crossdressing, do you now regret telling
her about it? Why, or why not?
N/A
(10)In your best judgment, what are her major objections or fears about your
crossdressing?
Extra expense of "dress-up"
clothing & accessories.
(11)Other than making an attempt to quit dressing altogether, what else do
you plan to do, or think might be best to do to help her
be more comfortable with the fact that you
are a crossdresser, even if she's non-accepting?
N/A
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