There are a lot of misinformed people in our society who, when they hear the word "crossdresser" or
"transvestite" immediately conjure up images of someone who dresses as the opposite sex doing so for
sexual fulfillment or gratification. While there are some who do this, the overwhelming majority dress
for entirely different reasons. With this in mind in early September of 2002, I put forth a question to a
couple of groups of which I am a member to see what type of feelings and emotions a typical
crossdresser experiences while they are in the process of dressing and after they have completed doing so. Although
these responses may be surprising to those who are uneducated about crossdressing, they came as no
surprise to me at all. Neither were they shocking to others who have dressed pretty much all their lives.
What follows is the exact post as it was worded to the groups, and a compilation of the unedited (other
than spelling corrections where necessary) responses to the question. Read these for yourself and you
will see that seldom does sexual activity enter the picture.
THE POST:
OK, ladies, we all have certain feelings, emotions, calmness, etc. when we dress. And many of us are
familiar with how dressing relieves our stresses like nothing else can. Some of us have even experienced
what we have seen described here on occasion as "That Wonderful Feeling!" of exhilaration. These are
things that we've probably all heard and read from a lot of sources ever since we began to
research crossdressing.
My question for the group is this: What emotions do YOU experience and what thoughts run through your
mind about the way you look and feel when you're dressed? I think this will be interesting for the
group as a whole.
Dixie
JENNA'S RESPONSE:
This may be the most serious I get here...
Today I got to stay home from work. The kids are in school. Just me and my wife from 8AM to 2:30PM.
I set my alarm clock to 6:45 everyday except Saturday and Sunday. I drag myself out of bed at 7:15. It
takes me that long to feel human enough and awake enough to face the workaday world.
The alarm went off as usual this morning. I fairly BOUNCED out of bed. Today I was going to get DRESSED!
And in my new dress too! (pix coming). The kids were prepared for school, and 8AM, I was back at the
house and in the shower. Calm excitement would best describe my mood. I was going to get DRESSED!
To make a long story short, I got dressed. On my lace body stocking (Victorias Secret, thank you!), in my
skirt and blouse, in my formal dress. Three outfits. I put on my makeup. Tried something new, and it
seemed to work OK. Cool.
Through it all, with all that went on today (I find I'm never really off work...), I'm unfazed by any of
it. I'm Jenna Renee Evans, and these problems are NOT going to bother me. Handle it, take care of
it, and back to life.
My feelings? Hard to describe. Above it all. Able to take a step back and see it for what it was. Alive!
Different, yet the same. Sexy! Oh yes, definitely sexy. I saw the world through the eyes of Jenna Renee
Evans, who hasn't been around long enough to get jaded, bored with it all.
Along comes a rainstorm, I can be Jenna and let it pass. I can see the world take a big drink rather than
focus on the rain gutter falling off the house. Jenna makes a note to fix it. My drab self would start
planning to fix it and never make a note. Along comes another thing, and the gutters are forgotten.
Jenna gets a layer of abstraction, if you will, from the problems of the world that I as my drab self
obsess about too much.
I look forward to more time as Jenna, and integrating her into a more complete person, me. She has the
calm I lost in the rat race, the sense of wonder I lost in the press of getting the knowledge I need
to stay employable in this industry.
I can escape for a short time, and look with eyes open with wonder at the world again.
Thanks girls!
RHONDA'S RESPONSE:
Hello to everyone, I'm a "newby" here and in regards to the question at hand I have a hard time picking
out just one emotion. I kinda feel the total spectrum, if that makes any sense to anyone, first of all
there's the relaxation stage, little or no stress wow what a wonderful feeling, then there's also
relief, excitement, and possibly a chance I won't scare myself if I try to wear makeup, happened
more than once lol) unfortunately at towards the end there's a big feeling of guilt! at least in my case
whereas my wife doesn't understand nor like not to mention approve of my desires to dress. I can visit a
"perfect world" for minutes at a time but I know at the end there's always guilt...I'm still working on
educating her but there are times I wonder if it'll ever help my situation at all. There are
definitely days I can't get enough and don't care about the idea of getting caught (again) knowing full well it
could cost me a divorce. So I guess after rambling along, I get the full spectrum of emotions, any
comments would be appreciated,,Rhondacd66604@y.......
MARY JO'S RESPONSE:
With me, I seem to sense more than feel. When I dress I have a sense of rightness appear. There is a sense
of being in contact with everything else. This is in addition to anything else that I might be feeling at
any one time. I always have a sense of calmness that almost overwhelms me at times. I might be
exhilarated or feeling very guilty but those senses that I have are always there.
VIOLET'S RESPONSE:
I guess My feelings are relaxation, and feeling like my self. I felt like their was something missing in
my life before I started dressing but until I put on my first dress I couldn't figure
out what it was that was missing. Now I've been dressing for 6 years and have never felt better. I've heard
a lot of crossdressers have a sexual pleasant out of it but I just like the way I feel when I dress.
LOIS' RESPONSE:
Well, I think this is a really good question. For myself, when I'm dressed, I feel relaxed and
comfortable and really, I feel like myself. I feel very feminine, even when I'm wearing only bra and
panties beneath my drab clothes. I don't think I feel any relief of stress, as I don't have much stress
anyway. I just feel very comfortable and "complete", if that will fit. I've been dressing for more years
than most of this Group has been around. When I was very young, I could get a sexual thrill from
dressing, but that eventually evolved to comfort and pleasant feelings, etc. My face is my weakest point;
it is not very feminine, and I'm sure it would take a miracle of a make-over to make any difference.
I just enjoy being myself, whenever I can, and I take advantage of each and every occasion to get
dressed. I'm still deeply closeted with no support at home, so you know my limitations. But, I do get
by...where there's a will, there's a way....LOL!
Hugs to all
SARA'S RESPONSE:
Thanks so much for telling us your feelings. I think others would agree that, while there is often
a lot of sexual feeling accompanying being dressed, often the feeling is just a feeling of relief (not
necessarily from stress) but a feeling that comes from getting to be who we really are and seeing
ourselves as we really long to be.
Years ago I read a book called "Psycho-Cybernetics" by Maxwell Maltz. (Yes I was purging at the moment)
but much to my surprise, I found that of all the things I could change in my life through self-analysis
and working to reprogram myself (The book really changed my life) the one thing I could not change was my
desire to enjoy my "Feminine side". Through this I learned to accept all of who I was and I stopped
feeling guilty and began to feel more like I had a "gift" that allowed me to enjoy women in a way that
most men could not and actually helped me to relate to women when I am in my usual "Drab" state.
My wife is very understanding, but not totally supportive calls me a "Feminist".
PATSY'S RESPONSE:
Hi Everyone:
What are my feelings while dressed???? I guess the best way I can describe it is a glow that comes over
me. When I was younger it was a sexual experience, but now it's just a feeling of well being!! I feel
complete. I don't know what is causing it, but lately I have been coming up with a lot of excuses not
to dress but deep inside I really want to. I've never gone dressed, but my friends in Denver are looking
forward to my debut and have been giving me a lot of encouragement. I don't think it will ever happen. I
hope they don't hold that against me. My 2 Canadian cents: latest exchange rate. 1.30 cents.
Love you all!!! Hugs and Kisses!!
DIANNE'S RESPONSE:
Oh Dixie, you always come up with the killer questions, the ones that get me soul searching for answers
and cursing because I can't find the right words. Having read some of the girl's' answers I think I fit
in with Lois in that it just feels right and makes me happy. Having said that, deep down I know that it
is far more complex than that, different feelings for different days. I dress almost every day usually
when I first get up in a morning and sometimes at night. It feels right, natural, great, sexy, peaceful,
fulfilling, exciting, rewarding........I could go on but all those feelings happen at different times,
sometimes on their own, sometimes as a mixture and sometimes, as I have said before in an overwhelming
wave of euphoria that is just so compelling and emotional, I can't find any words that can do it justice.
This happens only very occasionally but when it does.......believe me you know it!
Bye,
Hugs 'n Stuff
VERONICA'S RESPONSE:
I have to say that I feel myself relaxing, taking a deep breath and feeling what is touching me in that
moment. I know that I allow myself greater freedom with my emotions so the feelings are more intense when
IM dressed fully. It is relaxing to simply begin the process of dressing. Calming as I slip my
jewelry on, comforting as I slip on my heels, and joyous as I put my lipstick on. I find myself being, just
being! Feeling in touch with myself, at peace, at rest! That's how I'm feel when
I'm dressed or dressing.
MICHELLE'S RESPONSE:
You always get to the just of it. And as usual, everyone is not exactly the same ...but very
close. Janet had the deepest end of it though and got to the heart of the matter...for all of us Janet. Thanks.
Elation followed by guilt........followed by deprivation so as to conform. Once again followed by a
fiery hunger that cannot be denied followed by elation...then guilt ...then.
It stops here for me one year ago. Thanks to you Dixie.. and the founders of this club....an end to the
vicious self destruction of a lot of beautiful people with so much to give and add to this world.
I don't know if any of you girls have seen or read a book called the emancipated crossdresser. It is
written by a girl named Lacey Leigh. She has class ..and a good sense of direction for us all. Mara
ordered one for my BD and I can't wait for it to get here. I am going to do my best to use it to help me
find my way .....where ever that may lead.
AND IN A LATER COMMENT MICHELLE SAID:
Well I'm really good @ being
analytical. I view it like an actress in a role. As she dons her outfit
for the play she reaches within herself for the parts of her that are
in that character. Its a combination of working from the inside out and
the outside in. I don't see myself as playing a role when I dress. But
rather that I am allowing that other side of myself to come to the
fore. I hope that makes sense to people who don't act or perform in
some way. As for the dressing calming or exciting us? I think that is
not really a different way of reacting as it is a different way of
seeing our reaction. I get excited too. But its the dressing that calms
me down. I guess maybe that's the actress working into the person she
is again. Going out in public is going on stage for me. Its just that
everyone who sees me is the theater or music critic for the local
newspaper and TV station. That's where the nerves come out. I'm very
aware of every pair of eyes turned in my direction. There's the
terrifying moment. Is somebody going to point and say " Look @ the guy
in a dress."
MY COMMENT TO DIANE:
Dianne - I'm glad I seem to have "struck a nerve" here with this question. I really DO find it
interesting that thus far you and I are the only ones who have mentioned the "euphoria" feeling that
comes along unexpectedly and infrequently. We must be 'two peas in a pod' <grin>. It's something that
defies being described, but if you ever experience it - just once - you will most definitely recognize
it! Thanks for the reply!
BECKY'S RESPONSE:
Well, never really gave it much thought (gave that up when commissioned--thinking was conduct unbecoming
an officer...) but since my crossdressing started well before those days...my first response when dressed
as a bridesmaid when 9 or 10 was a real thrill, physical and emotional--especially when one of the women
dressing me said I was too cute to be a boy...
And every time after that for many years the thrill was physical--which we have all experienced...but
after maturing and aging (like a good wine?)...my feelings now when I look at myself in a makeup
mirror--slip and bra being obvious--is one of emotional and psychological pleasure and
fulfillment...that's the real me, possessive of both genders and here's the femme one coming to the
surface. And with each step of the cosmetic procedure, I realize more and more how great it feels to be
going through this transition...again. (Of course, the obverse is true when I sit there and reluctantly
strip the layers off and return to my drab self...)
Then as I adjust everything in front of the full length cheval mirror, the male side disappears and a
confident, fulfilled femme side surfaces...to some who know me in both worlds, the confidence is there in
both attires, only the femme is more inclusive and considerate...which I enjoy being able to show. Too
many times I was "nicked" on effectiveness reports for being "too easy," "too willing to look at all
sides." Now I can do that and I do...wearing panties, girdle, hose, and a bra...it's the right thing to
be.
So, how do I feel when fully dressed? Like a fulfilled person, on the edge of doing and being something
wonderful...
HEATHER'S RESPONSE:
Hi Dixie , is this not a variation of the same question you asked a few months ago when someone answered
" euphoric " ? In any event, how do I feel when dressed up? Well since I dress nearly every day now it
has become routine and normal for me. Nothing really exciting about it any more, this is just who I am. I
have come to terms with it and am cool with it. One thing I feel though all the time is that I am not as
pretty as I want to be or as convincing as I would like to be. But I think that is all in my head from
all external sources the general information is that I have no problems passing and that my look is fine.
So I assume then my feelings are not those of a TG but closer to what every other GG feels about her
self. I have heard that even super models (GG's) have feelings that they do not look their best or are
not happy with the way they look, even when the rest of the world loves their look. I guess I am
starting to think more like a woman and experience the feelings that GG's have every day . So I guess
what I feel then is not the answer you were looking for. Hope this helps!
JANE'S RESPONSE:
I think my answer to this one has to begin before I
start to dress. Knowing that I'm going to have a chance to dress triggers great
anticipation and excitement. I have a hard time concentrating on anything but
the time I'm going to have to dress---what I'll wear, what makeup to wear-- How
I'll look. Unlike some of you, when I do start to dress I like to look at myself
in the mirror through all the stages of my transformation. Makeup has in the
last year or two (since I shaved my moustache<grin>) become an
increasingly important part of how I see my feminine self. The smells of the
makeup also really excite me. I've gotta say that I just love to dress. Does it
excite me? Yes-- But not in a sexual way--at least not like when I was younger.
I feel natural. I feel at home in my female self. I'm relaxed (aside from the
fear of being caught). I love to look at myself and imagine myself out, walking
around, hopefully being admired as a handsome, well groomed if not so young and
pretty woman. Getting undressed is a bit sad but I usually do it really
quickly-no use getting caught half dressed in makeup. I think the time spent
checking that all the makeup is off is a universal of us cd's. Hope this makes
sense or interests someone. Hugs Jane
RANNAE'S RESPONSE:
Let me see, I think I answered a similar question several months ago with the
key word Euphoria and perhaps that is very well the closest definition in the
English language. But somehow it still seems to fall short of what the inner
feelings and emotions are. The full spectrum seem to cover euphoria, an extreme
feeling of well being one's self as we perceive ourselves., an inner peace and
happiness, and with all these and a few words like excitement, "joyity",
and giddiness, there is room for the feeling of sadness......... Yes,
that's right - I said sadness. Knowing full well that we can not remain dressed
and feeling complete 24/7 which would seem to maintain these feelings perhaps
indefinitely.
Could
you imagine being a genetic woman, embracing your femininity 100%, dressing the
part of a well dressed woman. Then suddenly one day, society says you
will, from now on, refrain from shaving your legs, wearing makeup, perfumes,
etc. You must wear T-shirts, jeans, and jogging shoes, and not be
allowed the more lady like appearances. Although many women choose to
dress in this fashion, at least they have the option of transforming back into
the real lady they are at will, with no one thinking anything to the contrary.
Wouldn't it be nice if we all had that option?
Love
ya
GEORGIEANNA’S RESPONSE:
DEBBY LEE'S RESPONSE:
What are my feelings, As I am still in the closet, my feelings are frustration
in not being able to dress when I want or for a better word NEED to dress. This
need starts with me admiring dresses, skirts on my wife and other GG's and
wanting to dress the same. It grows with internal feelings I imagine others have
had as well. My nerves are on edge, mild headaches, my stomach feels
uncomfortable, restless. I get to the point that all I think about is dressing
in lingerie and pretty dresses. When showering I despise my body, my male parts,
I want to scrub the hair off as I view it as something dirty. When dressing in
my drab clothes I want to feel the smoothness of panties, the snugness of a Bra
around my chest. I want to use perfume not after shave, to be able to smell nice
like my wife. To look nice and pretty as my wife does in the morning. However I
can do none of these things because of my love of my wife and to tell her would
destroy all I have. So I dress when I am able to, when I am alone. I prowl the
lingerie departments in the stores wishing I could wear what I am seeing. I
sneak on panties under my male clothes sometimes in the evening when my wife is
at home and I can't resist them, making sure i change back before going to bed
so she does not find out. These simple things I do relieves the frustration and
other symptoms and puts me back on track until the next time that Debby has to
come out. When I’m able to dress, when I’m alone I get showered using my
wife’s shower lotions and skin softeners and dressing totally with lingerie,
stockings and dress, jewelry and makeup then a great peaceful feeling comes over
me It envelopes my soul and I feel at peace with my self. I feel whole again.!
PRICILLA'S RESPONSE:
My feelings when wearing a dress are, that I feel very peaceful, calm
and nice. Especially when also wearing pantyhose and heels, with my
legs recently dehaired. Its not so much sexual arousal, as a feeling of
majesty. Wishing all who CD, plenty of opportunities to do so without
be hassled about it.
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