Don't think you'll ever get caught by your wife while you're dressed? You might ought to think again. You
might be one of the few who will get by with it for a lifetime without anyone ever knowing other than the
ones you choose to tell, but as a general rule you will fall into one of the two main
categories - those who have been caught and those who are going to be.
Put yourself in this picture for a minute. You've got the whole house to yourself and you've been
planning this for months! You bought a new outfit a little while back and you've been waiting for a
chance to wear it. Your wife's gone someplace and said she wouldn't be back for several hours so you
decided to take advantage of the opportunity. You spent an inordinate amount of time doing your makeup
and now you're under femininity's "spell" and dressed to the nines in all your feminine finery. Then
suddenly you hear the door open and your wife announcing that she's home! There's no WAY you can escape
getting caught now, so what do you do?
Of course what you SHOULD have done was to have told her a long time ago. Even if she turned out to be
non-accepting you would have at least broken the ice, but it's too late for that now. You could run into
the bathroom, lock the door and turn on the shower, but at this time of day that would raise suspicion
too. Besides, you'd have to be 'Marlin the Magician' to come up with a way to make the clothes
disappear somewhere and get all traces of the makeup off in record time. Hopefully she hasn't run into an old
friend and brought her home with her. Your chances at survival are much better if she's alone so we'll
assume, for the sake of this example, that she's come home alone. So, OK, what DO you do now?
If you were wise you would have already put together a sufficient
amount of documentation about
crossdressing and put it someplace where you can get your hands on it
in a hurry. What I'm talking about
here is information from respectable and high quality sources. You
definitely DON'T want some of the
stuff like you might find on 'shady' web sites and in men's magazines.
What you want is information about
crossdressing that's factual and accurate. Statistical reports about
the number of heterosexual
crossdressers in the general populace is always an eye opener as are
case
histories, personal stories, and medical information. ANYTHING that
contributes positively to the your side of the equation in a favorable
way can't hurt anything. The best thing to have in this collection of
documentation is a personal letter
from YOU explaining to her that you've been this way all your life and
you'd kept it a secret because you
didn't know if she would understand and above all else you didn't want
to hurt her. Admittedly if you're
standing there in full makeup wearing your new pink chiffon dress and 4
inch heels looking straight at
her she's going to be shocked to say the least. But there's no way to
reverse this situation now and
you've GOT to work from the position you're in - sort of like "playing
the ball where it lies" in golf.
I can almost assure you that the very first question she's going to ask you is if you're gay. This will
be closely followed by the next question which will be whether you're wanting to have a sex-change
operation. Sure, YOU know that neither of these are true, but put yourself in her place for the moment.
What if the situation was reversed and you had just found her wearing some of your clothes with her
breasts bound down flat, an artificial 'bulge' in place below the belt buckle, smoking a big cigar, and
a fake beard/moustache in place? You'd be shocked too.
There will be assorted other questions of lesser urgency, but still just as important to her. Questions
like "Why do you do this?" "Where did I fail you?" "Is this a substitute for sex with me?" Then there
will probably be statements like "Well, I want this to stop immediately!" "If you loved me you'd quit
this right now!" "This is disgusting and you're repulsive to me!"
The one thing you DON'T want to do at this point is get angry and start pointing your finger at HER
faults. She'll interpret this as you defining crossdressing as being a fault of yours and that's a far
cry from what it really is. Instead, just be quiet and let her "vent" until she's through. Sooner or
later she's going to ask you what you've got to say for yourself. It might not be immediately, she may
bring it up hours or days later, but it will come back up - you can count on it. You, better than anyone
else, know your wife so it will be up to you at that time to decide what to say and when to say it. For
the moment, though, answer her questions with honesty and sincerity and try to avoid getting angry.
When the tension subsides, get undressed and cleaned up and only then try to talk to her at length. Your
reappearance in 'male mode' will make it a lot easier for her to talk to you and you'll have this
advantage working in your favor. As soon as possible give her the documentation you have hopefully
prepared and don't worry if she doesn't read it immediately. In fact it's usually better if she reads it
at her leisure since she will be more attentive and retain more of what she reads then. If you HAVEN'T
prepared anything you need to do so as soon as you possibly can. Here again, use your good sense to get
quality information and not just something you throw together. All it takes is one wrong statement or
sentence to give her the wrong impression and you definitely don't need that at this stage.
Right now she will want to talk, cry, and be comforted. If she uses a computer, give her some high
standard web sites to visit. Be VERY careful about this because there are a lot of sites out there which
will paint the wrong picture and you need to avoid that. Listen to her concerns and address them in a way
that is conducive to at least minimizing them - preferably eliminating them. She has a right to have
these worries and the sooner you can put her mind at ease about each individual one, the sooner both of
you can move forward to an agreeable compromise.
Did I say "compromise?" Yes, I most certainly did. You shouldn't expect to get everything you want and
she shouldn't expect to get everything she wants either. It's obvious that there has to be some give and
take on both sides here. You've educated yourself about crossdressing for years and years so you're
probably pretty much an authority on the subject. YOU know that it's something that you're not going to
be able to get rid of, but she probably hasn't studied it enough to realize that yet. In addition to that
and to anything you might tell her, she will probably want to research it for herself. If she does her
research in the right places she'll soon discover that she's not the only wife who has a crossdresser for
a husband and that within itself may very well provide her with some degree of comfort. She'll also
become aware that it's not as uncommon or odd as it may have seemed at first. Most of all she will
hopefully discover that it's not perverted. If she can accept THAT, you will begin to see a difference in
her attitude about it.
Like I said at the beginning of this article, you could be one of the very few who might go a lifetime
without ever being caught. But the odds are not in your favor so the time to think about what your
actions would be if you're not one of the few who are fortunate enough to beat the
odds is now!
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