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Hello,
My name is Renae, Here's how my crossdressing began.
Since
they already had a boy when I was born my mother and dad wanted a girl. But that
apparently just wasn't supposed to happen at the time I was born.
So from a very early age all I heard from them was that I
was supposed to have been a girl. Anticipating that I was going to be a girl, my
mother had bought little girl outfits and I guess she decided that she might as
well get some use out of them so she began to dress me in
these little frilly feminine outfits.
Sometime
around the age of eight or nine years old is when my crossdressing really began
to emerge. I now had a younger sister and I could not help but to noticed how she looked
when she was dressed up in those pretty dresses. Seeing her wearing all those
pretty clothes brought those dormant feelings back to the surface and for some
reason I knew that I missed that feeling of wearing feminine things.
So
I began to go in my sister's room when she wasn't home and put on her panties. I
would also would venture quietly into my mother's room and slip on a pair of her
hose and put on her high heel shoes even though they were to big for my feet.
These private activities ensued all the way up until I was in high school but
then again went into hiding for a period of time while
I explored a new interest more commonly expected of a young man - GIRLS!
Fast
forward to the current time. . . . I am currently married to my 3rd wife. The
failure of the marriages to wives 1 and 2 was unrelated in any form to my
crossdressing.
I
guess getting older or looking at how
pretty my wife looks when she's all dressed up has something to do with
awakening those old feelings and emotions. Whatever the cause crossdressing came
back again, stronger than ever this time. I really don't know the cause actual
cause and although some people claim to know,
I don't think anyone truly understands why this happens.
All I knew was that it was a part of me that I missed and I started
dressing again. I also was aware that sooner or later my wife was going to
discover what was going on and I certainly
didn't want her to come in one day and catch me all dressed up. It was
obvious to me that that I couldn't go on hiding and trying to keep this secret
from her and that somehow I had to
tell her about it. There was no question about whether or not she should be
told, but how should I do it?
I
decided that the only way to break the news to her was just to come right out
and say what was on my mind and hope that the strength of our marriage was
sufficient to stand the strain that I just knew would be placed upon it. So one
day while we were sitting around talking I just came out and told her that I had
been wearing her panties and other clothes. As I had expected that didn't
exactly bring joy and laughter into the room.
She couldn't understand why a man, ANY man, would want to wear women's
clothes. That's an understandable
reaction since even crossdressers don't understand it themselves, so I just
proceeded to tell her the story of how it all began, and then I asked her to
look at some web site's on the internet that contained some useful information
about crossdressing. I had already
done some groundwork in this area and knew there was a CD support group on the
net that was specifically for the wives and significant others of crossdressers
and that she could learn a lot from them.
I
didn't know what else to tell her except for the facts that there were a LOT of
people like myself out there so neither one of us was alone in this situation.
She began researching the subject of crossdressing on the net and after a
couple of weeks she began to
realize that this was definitely
not something that I had voluntarily gotten myself into. She also accepted the
fact that this is something which was strongly engrained in my personality and
was a large part of what makes me be, . . .
well ME! Since it is not recognized as a disease or mental health issue
it is not an abnormality per-say. Unusual? Yes. A sickness? Certainly not. She
also learned that since it is not a disease there is no cure for it. (for there
to be a cure there has to be a disease to be cured from, right?)
She
began to realize that I was not some kind of weird or perverse person or that I
had undergone a big change in my life, but that I was exactly the SAME person
who took her as my bride and that no matter what I had on as far as clothing was
concerned I was still the same inside and I still loved her.
Since
that day when I came out to her things have gotten better and better. We've
grown closer than we've ever been and that trend continues to this day. An added
bonus which came as a total shock to me is how supportive and understanding she
has become as she continues researching crossdressing. She has been, and
continues to be, a tremendous help and inspiration for me. She is shopping for
clothes for me, helping me learn the necessary skills such as make up,
mannerisms, how to walk, and so forth. I would like to take this opportunity to
thank her from the bottom of my heart and give her all the credit to which she
is entitled - thanks, honey, for being the angel you are!
So,
this is my coming out story, and I hope that you liked it. I also hope that it
might have been a help or inspiration to someone. If just one person is helped
by my story, then it has been worthwhile to me to have it on the web. In
addition I would like to thank Dixie Darling,
Sassi Anne Johnson, Shirley
Anne Sometimes, and the many others who have given me so much help, support, and
encouragement on the internet. You are truly among the best of my friends.
So
there is no misunderstanding and just to let everyone know, I'm a straight
heterosexual male crossdresser who loves his wife very much. I'm not into going
to the bars and drinking, I'm not into cyber sex or anything strange or
"kinky". I enjoy talking to anyone about crossdressing as long as the
conversation remains straight and clean.
If
you would like to email me my email address is:
Renaecdgurl@aol.com
Renae
